Conspiracy Idiots

Why is it that these morons like to praddle on all day about why they are right but have no grasp of basic physics?

It's Now or Never

So when I write these things, I try to be a little creative. While my topics aren’t really that unique, I like to spin them into something different. I tend to write to imaginary people…people I don’t know. It makes it interesting to me. Basically, I try to make people laugh.

My one rule when starting this was not to bore people with the imaginary drama in my life. People don’t care if I have a screaming hang nail or that my BFF Jill is a total bitch cuz she bought the same dress I wanted to wear to the dance. I don’t ramble on about how my day or week has gone because, really, the people that I care about the most already know…and those are the people that read this thing…so why drone on something they already know? And if you don’t know me…why the hell would you care if my underwear has been bunching up on me during gym class?

However…

I don’t really have anything worth while to bitch about lately, which is more or less why I even use this thing. But seeing that if I ignore this blog for too long, it’ll be completely forgotten just like my blogs in the past, and all my loyal readers will be disappointed.

So I guess I’ll have to break my own rule.

I’ve decided to let people into my little weight loss world...which is something I’ve been consciously avoiding for the last 6 months. And, to be honest, I’ve gotten very self-aware about how big I’m getting and I’m embarrassed if not a little scared, too. I’m not happy with myself right now and I need to do something about it before it’s too late.

With a little help from a fellow worker, I started a “Biggest Loser” style competition at the office. As of today, we have 20 people playing. Even my boss, the head honcho Dan himself, joined in. We all threw in $10 and, after the 12 week competition concludes, the top 3 weight-loss percentages will win the pot. If no more players join before the Friday deadline, 1st place will win $120! (2nd and 3rd would get $60 and $20). It’s not much different than the reality show, except that we don’t vote people off. :)

This has gotten me excited about losing weight again. Last spring when I lost weight I was really into it because my wife set me up with a sweet deal to get it done. But when we got forced into moving I got all depressed and stopped following my plan. As the weight came back on I got more depressed about it and my dumb ass just gave up. I knew I was doing it, but I was being retarded and now I’m just flat out pissed at myself for being so stupid. I could damn near cry because I was so close to getting myself where I wanted and I allowed a pretty minor setback fuck me over. If there was ever something I could bitch about, me giving up would be it.

This time, though, it’s for realz!

I got some serious competition…and that’s exactly what I needed to kick me in the ass. I’m highly competitive when it comes to things like this…plus there’s HARD CASH on the line! PLUS, I promised the wife I wouldn’t use my PS3 before I lost “x” number of pounds. PLUS, I loved how I felt when I started getting back into shape before the summer started.

…CASH, PS3, and RIPPED ABS! (Well, not really on the abs, but ya know)…

If there wasn’t motivation before, then I have no fucking excuse this time…

So, if anyone cares, I’ll be using my blog to post how things are going throughout the competition. Since I’m running the competition, I’ll know where I rank and how I’m doing, etc…

My weight on the scale at work is 291.2 as of 1/2/09 and I’m the 3rd heaviest person competing…so I’ve got some work to do…this week is the first week of the contest with the next weigh-in coming up this Friday.

Wish me luck!...or just send me Avocados…or just send me money…whatever you prefer :)