I’m not going to get into the craptastic jerseys of the past here (ie: Los Angeles Kings circa 1996) …at least not yet. Instead, my focus here is on the alternate jerseys that teams have unveiled this year.
(As a side note: All the images you see here are borrowed from NHLUniforms.com. If you have never visited this site, you absolutely must. This guy does a phenomenal job keeping track of all past, present and unseen NHL jerseys. He also runs another site, WHAUniforms.com, that is just as impressive.)
Anywho…19 teams have opted to wear alternate jerseys for the 2008-09 season. Montreal and Chicago have even taken it a step further by rolling out more than one alternate (3 and 2 respectively). I’ve taken it upon myself to give my fabulous opinion and rank said jerseys from best to worst. Being a Buffalo fan, I tend to be biased…but I’ve really made an attempt to be open-minded here…no, honestly!
On to the list:
1. St Louis Blues:
Number one on the list was an easy decision. This jersey is a perfect combination of the team logo, its history and colors, and the city they represent. Teams from around the league should look to this jersey the next time they decide to roll out new threads. I’d be proud to pull on this sweater if I was an NHL’er.
2. Chicago Blackhawks (alt #1):
I like this jersey almost as much as the St Louis one. But unfortunately, Chicago is only going to wear this for one game, as it will only be used for the Winter Classic 2009. Instead of just rolling out another all-black jersey, they combined a little of two past jerseys to get this effect. The tan stripe across the chest really gives this sweater some dimension and character. I applaud the designers on this one.
3. Buffalo Sabres: 
I’ll be honest…being a Sabres fan all my life I really wanted to give this one the top spot. But giving this a good hard look against the others, I couldn’t realistically give this better props than the two teams above. I love this sweater as it returns the team to its roots with a little 21st century makeover. But I still have a personal gripe about the logo that has plagued all Buffalo teams…it’s the Buffalo SABRES, not the Buffalo Buffaloes! Stop putting such a focus on Bison for kripes sake! Yes, we’re from Buffalo, I get it! Then put a cool little bison on the shoulders if you need to…but make the crest a focus of the team image which is supposed to be a SABRE! Regardless…this jersey kicks ass and is easily in my top 5 all time favorite hockey sweaters.
4. San Jose Sharks:
I really like the Sharks’ jerseys and I always have. The new regular jerseys are cooler than ever. I love what they did with the revamping of the logo to make it look meaner and the orange piping is super cool…but then they go and draw up some generic looking black jersey. New on this jersey is the shark’s tail…which is all fine and good, but it looks more like a dolphin tail than a shark. And where did the orange go? Despite my griping, I do like this one (obviously), but with a little more TLC, this could have easily been number one.
5. Phoenix Coyotes:
I hate Phoenix for what they did to Winnipeg…but I can’t help but like their jerseys. Although that I am disappointed that they opted for a black dominated jersey, the overall effect is decent. They should have put more focus on the maroon scheme in my opinion. But, the running coyote is cool. Thank the Lord they didn’t put the Picasso coyote on this one. I would have recommended putting a new Aztec styled border across the bottom like the jerseys in the past. Other than that, I don’t have much to say.
6. Edmonton Oilers:
The good: This jersey is classic and bright! The bad: This jersey is classic and bright! Edmonton fans will always remember the 80’s dynasty, but don’t fool yourself into thinking the Oilers will ever be that dominant again. I like seeing the old colors streaking up and down the ice, but unless the jerseys read Gretzky, Messier, Lowe, Coffey, Kurri, Tikkanen, etc…then what’s the point? With the creative genius of Todd McFarland at your disposal, why would you run out a sacred old jersey that was easily obtainable by fans to purchase anyway, instead of designing something new?
7. Carolina Hurricanes:
It really was a struggle for me to put the ‘Canes this high on the list. I hate the team for various reasons (mainly that they belong in Hartford), and despite the fact that it’s yet another BLACK jersey, it’s actually pretty cool. I like the warning flag logo better than the logo that is commonly referred to as the flushing toilet.
I’ll be honest…being a Sabres fan all my life I really wanted to give this one the top spot. But giving this a good hard look against the others, I couldn’t realistically give this better props than the two teams above. I love this sweater as it returns the team to its roots with a little 21st century makeover. But I still have a personal gripe about the logo that has plagued all Buffalo teams…it’s the Buffalo SABRES, not the Buffalo Buffaloes! Stop putting such a focus on Bison for kripes sake! Yes, we’re from Buffalo, I get it! Then put a cool little bison on the shoulders if you need to…but make the crest a focus of the team image which is supposed to be a SABRE! Regardless…this jersey kicks ass and is easily in my top 5 all time favorite hockey sweaters.
4. San Jose Sharks:
I really like the Sharks’ jerseys and I always have. The new regular jerseys are cooler than ever. I love what they did with the revamping of the logo to make it look meaner and the orange piping is super cool…but then they go and draw up some generic looking black jersey. New on this jersey is the shark’s tail…which is all fine and good, but it looks more like a dolphin tail than a shark. And where did the orange go? Despite my griping, I do like this one (obviously), but with a little more TLC, this could have easily been number one.
5. Phoenix Coyotes:
I hate Phoenix for what they did to Winnipeg…but I can’t help but like their jerseys. Although that I am disappointed that they opted for a black dominated jersey, the overall effect is decent. They should have put more focus on the maroon scheme in my opinion. But, the running coyote is cool. Thank the Lord they didn’t put the Picasso coyote on this one. I would have recommended putting a new Aztec styled border across the bottom like the jerseys in the past. Other than that, I don’t have much to say.
6. Edmonton Oilers:
The good: This jersey is classic and bright! The bad: This jersey is classic and bright! Edmonton fans will always remember the 80’s dynasty, but don’t fool yourself into thinking the Oilers will ever be that dominant again. I like seeing the old colors streaking up and down the ice, but unless the jerseys read Gretzky, Messier, Lowe, Coffey, Kurri, Tikkanen, etc…then what’s the point? With the creative genius of Todd McFarland at your disposal, why would you run out a sacred old jersey that was easily obtainable by fans to purchase anyway, instead of designing something new?
7. Carolina Hurricanes:
It really was a struggle for me to put the ‘Canes this high on the list. I hate the team for various reasons (mainly that they belong in Hartford), and despite the fact that it’s yet another BLACK jersey, it’s actually pretty cool. I like the warning flag logo better than the logo that is commonly referred to as the flushing toilet.
8. Los Angeles Kings:
After some dreadful jerseys (Lakers colors) and a bomb of a third jersey (1996 white with a stupid king head), the team designers hit gold with the black/purple/silver scheme. I was hoping they would put out another sweater with the focus on purple again like the past alternate, but I got nothing. This black/silver number is nice, but way too plain. Where’s the purple? Hell, I’d be OK with some gold in there. With the jersey history this team has, they would have been hard pressed to screw it up with something different, but instead they pussied out and opted for a vanilla cone. And yet, I still kinda like this and it makes me mad.
9. Atlanta Thrashers:
Well, at least it’s not powder-freakin-blue. The maroon is a nice touch, but are you telling me you couldn’t think of a better logo than spelling out the team name? Then again, this is Atlanta we’re talking about. It’s amazing they can even give the tickets away. I guess Georgians need to be reminded of the team name considering the mad parakeet they stick on the main jerseys. I’d really like this one if they had revamped the logo a bit.
After some dreadful jerseys (Lakers colors) and a bomb of a third jersey (1996 white with a stupid king head), the team designers hit gold with the black/purple/silver scheme. I was hoping they would put out another sweater with the focus on purple again like the past alternate, but I got nothing. This black/silver number is nice, but way too plain. Where’s the purple? Hell, I’d be OK with some gold in there. With the jersey history this team has, they would have been hard pressed to screw it up with something different, but instead they pussied out and opted for a vanilla cone. And yet, I still kinda like this and it makes me mad.
9. Atlanta Thrashers:
Well, at least it’s not powder-freakin-blue. The maroon is a nice touch, but are you telling me you couldn’t think of a better logo than spelling out the team name? Then again, this is Atlanta we’re talking about. It’s amazing they can even give the tickets away. I guess Georgians need to be reminded of the team name considering the mad parakeet they stick on the main jerseys. I’d really like this one if they had revamped the logo a bit.
10. Tampa Bay Lightning:
I got the same gripes about this one as the last and then some. It’s bad enough to spell out your team name on your jersey, but you’re not the “Bolts!” It’s the freakin “Lightning!” Get rid of that silly moniker and put a real logo on the front, then we’ll talk.
I got the same gripes about this one as the last and then some. It’s bad enough to spell out your team name on your jersey, but you’re not the “Bolts!” It’s the freakin “Lightning!” Get rid of that silly moniker and put a real logo on the front, then we’ll talk.
11. Vancouver Canucks:
I hate to pick on Vancouver. I respect the team (as with the other Canadian teams), but they could have done much better. At least it’s not the flying “V” I suppose. All they did here was keep the colors of the main jersey and swap out the logo for the inaugural one. But since the Canucks did roll out the worst looking jersey in the history of organized sport, I’d be a little trigger shy, too.
I hate to pick on Vancouver. I respect the team (as with the other Canadian teams), but they could have done much better. At least it’s not the flying “V” I suppose. All they did here was keep the colors of the main jersey and swap out the logo for the inaugural one. But since the Canucks did roll out the worst looking jersey in the history of organized sport, I’d be a little trigger shy, too.
12. Montreal Canadiens (alt #1)
:
Yeah, I know…they are celebrating their 100th anniversary this year and the team wants to do a bunch of throwbacks. But why not try something new and crazy? The Montreal jerseys have been practically the same since Jesus was born. I call these shirts “hockey rink camo” cuz it looks as if they plan to have the players lie down across the blue line to meld into the surroundings. As the other team skates by, the Habs pounce on them. Gives new meaning to the neutral zone trap. Grow some balls already, Canada.
13. Ottawa Senators:
This jersey just makes me mad. Just as I’m upset with Tampa Bay…it’s cute to have a nickname and all that shit, but putting it on your jersey is just stupid. You’re not the Sens! You don’t see the Sabres calling themselves the Sabes…or Toronto calling themselves the Mapes…and slapping it on the front of their sweaters, do you?! And here we are with another BLACK fuckin jersey. Do something else ya unoriginal bastards!
14. Chicago Blackhawks (alt #2):
It my belief that this is the only team allowed to wear all black. They are the Blackhawks after all. I didn’t rank this higher just because it’s boring. Blind kids with no hands could have done better.
:Yeah, I know…they are celebrating their 100th anniversary this year and the team wants to do a bunch of throwbacks. But why not try something new and crazy? The Montreal jerseys have been practically the same since Jesus was born. I call these shirts “hockey rink camo” cuz it looks as if they plan to have the players lie down across the blue line to meld into the surroundings. As the other team skates by, the Habs pounce on them. Gives new meaning to the neutral zone trap. Grow some balls already, Canada.
13. Ottawa Senators:
This jersey just makes me mad. Just as I’m upset with Tampa Bay…it’s cute to have a nickname and all that shit, but putting it on your jersey is just stupid. You’re not the Sens! You don’t see the Sabres calling themselves the Sabes…or Toronto calling themselves the Mapes…and slapping it on the front of their sweaters, do you?! And here we are with another BLACK fuckin jersey. Do something else ya unoriginal bastards!
14. Chicago Blackhawks (alt #2):
It my belief that this is the only team allowed to wear all black. They are the Blackhawks after all. I didn’t rank this higher just because it’s boring. Blind kids with no hands could have done better.
15. Toronto Maple Leafs:
There’s only so much you can do with Blue and White. They made the leaf a little meaner…well…about as mean as a leaf can look anyway. Other than that, it’s the same old tired Toronto sweater.
There’s only so much you can do with Blue and White. They made the leaf a little meaner…well…about as mean as a leaf can look anyway. Other than that, it’s the same old tired Toronto sweater.
16. Montreal Canadiens (alt #2):
This is just dumb, but there’s worse jerseys out there this year. This logo has little meaning to today’s fans, so I’m not sure why they bothered. Habs fans shouldn’t take any solace in the fact that this isn’t dead last, cuz it sucks balls. I’d actually be more impressed if they made the blue the dominant color, but Canadiens can’t do anything right except beer and maple syrup.
This is just dumb, but there’s worse jerseys out there this year. This logo has little meaning to today’s fans, so I’m not sure why they bothered. Habs fans shouldn’t take any solace in the fact that this isn’t dead last, cuz it sucks balls. I’d actually be more impressed if they made the blue the dominant color, but Canadiens can’t do anything right except beer and maple syrup.
17. Boston Bruins:
Good God. Whoever said that simpler is better got it dead wrong here. The “B” on the originals has a long and storied history, but the team opted to throw it away for a fucking teddy bear. And seeing that hockey fans already know where Boston plays, I can only assume spelling it out on the jersey is for the benefit of the New England people that have never heard of sports other than baseball and football.
Good God. Whoever said that simpler is better got it dead wrong here. The “B” on the originals has a long and storied history, but the team opted to throw it away for a fucking teddy bear. And seeing that hockey fans already know where Boston plays, I can only assume spelling it out on the jersey is for the benefit of the New England people that have never heard of sports other than baseball and football.
18. Pittsburgh Penguins:
This has got to be the gayest jersey in the free world. Pastel-frickin-Blue? I hear that next year, the team will let fans vote between pastel green, pastel yellow, and pastel pink. Yeah, Pittsburgh is a blue collar town, but I think the Pens missed the meaning there. I guess the team wasn’t happy that Atlanta already had girly looking powder blue jerseys and opted to make one even more babyish. I’m willing to bet Sidney and Malkin curl up next to each other and wrap themselves in these jerseys every night before they go to sleep.
19. New York Islanders:
I guess the fans should be thankful the team didn’t use that stupid fishsticks guy as the logo this time. But that doesn’t make this jersey any better. Actually, now that I think about it, the fishsticks guy might not be so bad with a little makeover, but the team is a bunch of morons and doesn’t think of anything that might be considered constructive. Not like the fans will care either way because the Isles suck and nobody buys their shit.
20. Montreal Canadiens (alt #3):
I can’t even look at this jersey without going into seizures. I hear that next years jerseys will just be Rorschach blotches. There’s a reason the Habs stopped using this sweater. Nobody likes an arena full of shaking and drooling people…well, unless it’s the Obama campaign.
This has got to be the gayest jersey in the free world. Pastel-frickin-Blue? I hear that next year, the team will let fans vote between pastel green, pastel yellow, and pastel pink. Yeah, Pittsburgh is a blue collar town, but I think the Pens missed the meaning there. I guess the team wasn’t happy that Atlanta already had girly looking powder blue jerseys and opted to make one even more babyish. I’m willing to bet Sidney and Malkin curl up next to each other and wrap themselves in these jerseys every night before they go to sleep.
19. New York Islanders:
I guess the fans should be thankful the team didn’t use that stupid fishsticks guy as the logo this time. But that doesn’t make this jersey any better. Actually, now that I think about it, the fishsticks guy might not be so bad with a little makeover, but the team is a bunch of morons and doesn’t think of anything that might be considered constructive. Not like the fans will care either way because the Isles suck and nobody buys their shit.
20. Montreal Canadiens (alt #3):
I can’t even look at this jersey without going into seizures. I hear that next years jerseys will just be Rorschach blotches. There’s a reason the Habs stopped using this sweater. Nobody likes an arena full of shaking and drooling people…well, unless it’s the Obama campaign.
21. Philadelphia Flyers:
The only people that should wear all orange are hunters. This just makes the team look like a bunch of road pylons. Then again…that’s exactly how they play. I’m surprised they didn’t throw a cheese-steak on the front as the new logo. The Flyers logo is an obvious Red Wing knockoff and it’s the lamest thing I’ve ever seen. It doesn’t matter cuz Flyers fans are too fat to wear hockey jerseys in the first place. Although I hear they might make this one in 4XL.
22. Dallas Stars:
I would have loved to be on the planning board for this one. Were they so impressed with the blatant blandness of the home jerseys that they felt it was necessary to take them on the road? There’s no mention of the team name or even a logo. I think someone screwed up. I believe the team told the NHL they planned on making a third jersey and then forgot all about it. Maybe some intern forgot to mark the deadline date on the calendar or something? Either way, I imagine, the guys from Reebok showed up looking for the design and everyone panicked…so the owner just threw the old black design at them and said “just change this to white!” as he hid behind a partially open door. Is the team management so devoid of creative talent that this was the best they could do? It’s a white shirt with “Dallas” printed on the front for crying out loud! My daughter could have Bedazzled a better jersey than this rag! The team probably got an overstock of D, A, L, and S iron on decals and needed to use them up. That’s creative gold right there! I think it’s hilarious that any sports team has to put the name of the city on the front of the jerseys in the first place. Is it because players really aren’t sure who they are playing for? Or maybe other teams aren’t sure who they are playing against on any given night? Or maybe the fans are too drunk to realize where they are? I shouldn’t really call the Dallas people “fans” cuz I’m willing to bet none have them have seen more than one Stars game in any given season. I guess the team figured they weren’t going to sell any jerseys anyway, so why bother making something worthwhile. This and the home black jersey are in my list of the worst jerseys ever made. Yay, Dallas! You actually accomplished something! Mediocrity!
The only people that should wear all orange are hunters. This just makes the team look like a bunch of road pylons. Then again…that’s exactly how they play. I’m surprised they didn’t throw a cheese-steak on the front as the new logo. The Flyers logo is an obvious Red Wing knockoff and it’s the lamest thing I’ve ever seen. It doesn’t matter cuz Flyers fans are too fat to wear hockey jerseys in the first place. Although I hear they might make this one in 4XL.
22. Dallas Stars:
I would have loved to be on the planning board for this one. Were they so impressed with the blatant blandness of the home jerseys that they felt it was necessary to take them on the road? There’s no mention of the team name or even a logo. I think someone screwed up. I believe the team told the NHL they planned on making a third jersey and then forgot all about it. Maybe some intern forgot to mark the deadline date on the calendar or something? Either way, I imagine, the guys from Reebok showed up looking for the design and everyone panicked…so the owner just threw the old black design at them and said “just change this to white!” as he hid behind a partially open door. Is the team management so devoid of creative talent that this was the best they could do? It’s a white shirt with “Dallas” printed on the front for crying out loud! My daughter could have Bedazzled a better jersey than this rag! The team probably got an overstock of D, A, L, and S iron on decals and needed to use them up. That’s creative gold right there! I think it’s hilarious that any sports team has to put the name of the city on the front of the jerseys in the first place. Is it because players really aren’t sure who they are playing for? Or maybe other teams aren’t sure who they are playing against on any given night? Or maybe the fans are too drunk to realize where they are? I shouldn’t really call the Dallas people “fans” cuz I’m willing to bet none have them have seen more than one Stars game in any given season. I guess the team figured they weren’t going to sell any jerseys anyway, so why bother making something worthwhile. This and the home black jersey are in my list of the worst jerseys ever made. Yay, Dallas! You actually accomplished something! Mediocrity!
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